Psychomorph
Insider
You read it all, but I failed to explain properly. This has nothing to do with gender. The male/female is a bit like a metaphor, but one that is also grounded in reality. I guess. Magic is open to anybody, though the way you set your character (foundation) may influence and change the way it develops for you.
Think of your gender and body build as one thing and your inner energy another. You can define your character to be male, tall, athletic and fairly muscular. That nature of yours allows you to be a relatively capable fighter (compared to a small, weak and slow man), but if you set your inner energy for more female attributes, which distributes your potential in a certain way. That means you're short on the "male inner attributes", you will not go hardcore berserk in close combat, you will not crush the skulls of thousands of your enemies, you're not going to kill a dragon with your bare hands. Your inner potential emphasizes the "female inner attributes", which means you can go full scale dark magic and do things beyond your own imagination and still look like a normal healthy male while doing so. HOWEVER, full scale magic with "male inner attributes" will not make you a weak mage, it will redefine the way your magic manifests. I can imagine that aggressive, offensive and powerful magic will becoem most accessible and effective. You will gain immense potential to, let's say, cast intense fireballs and burn cities to the grounds. You are lacking the "female inner potential", yes, but that doesn't mean that you have no access to the dark magic or such, you do and the more you focus on it and invest practice the better you get, but it may not come as easy to you as the offensive magical arts.
Basically, everything is intertwined. Note the colors above, red is similar to orange right? so the male energy is more physical. Blue is similar to violet, because the female energy favours the inner world. But you can create a character that favours magic, but assign the male inner attributes to it. You'll get a mage that can be incredibly skillful, but favours the aggressive, fast, more imminent side of magic. A mage favouring the female inner potential will not be automatically more powerful, because paradoxically the "male inner potential" bears an incredible amount of energy, force and power, but the "female inner potential" gives you an extremely extensive and wide field of arcane and passive forms of magic. This may sound like inferior, but it's quite not like that. The potential in it is incredible in its own way.
The reason why I mentioned that Thaumaturgy should generally be a female trait is a bit difficult to explain. Again, this is less about gender, but about potential. In the real world, a male such as Mike Tyson is likely not going to be very competent with social elements, he's likely not a diplomat, is not going to work with little children in the Kindergarden. He's more like an extreme form of the male attribute, on the outside and the inside. The level of testosterone in his body took part in shaping his base character. That doesn't mean he isn't capable of being sensitive of course, he can be a man of fine arts as well, but his nature is rather "male" (I don't know him, but based on his public behaviour, his physical appearance and his profession you could make guesses).
A man however can be well (manly) built but have a tenancy toward the female inner attributes. He is likely not going to be an extremely aggressive character, and will be more openly sensitive, but not too female.
Basically, the inner attribute can influence both, the mind and the appearance, but it does not define these things.
And stuff.
Edit: Oh yes, to get back to the point. Thaumaturgy is a less physical thing - I mean sure it partially is, it's affects the physics, it costs physical energy, etc, but it originates from the inner and spiritual planes, and the female attributes are prominently of inner character. The male attribute is of rather physical, direct, openly exposed and influential character and thus is a great source of strength for a warrior, but also for a mage. As asid, this is not about gender, but the potential and energy distribution.
This is a bit too complicated I guess. I have a clear idea of what I am trying to say, but I am probably not too good at explaining it. Maybe we will get there by page number four, or six.
Of course. Keep it simple and it will work, that never failed to be true.
I don't know how D&D handled that, but I see my suggestion as very flexible. And also, what if there are magical ways in the game to change your nature? Re-arrange your stars by using some old magic. You could reset your character at any time as part of gameplay without the need to delete your character. Of course, to make it interesting, there would be limits and consequences, you may pay for in what ever ways necessary (loose skills and identity), but nothing that would be annoying and game breaking. You could use a ritual where you sacrifice yourself, die and reborn changed. Endless ways to have awesome things in a game.
Yay, page two.
